12:35 p.m. This is damn boring. I have Beowulf in my bag, that's what Jerome is reading, but geez, that's even MORE boring... Hmmm...
In English class we were talking about Cain and Abel in the book Beowulf, and Mrs. Mapletree said, "That's what I don't get about Christianity, one side is good, one side is bad" and it reminded me of the book "Ishmael" where they said Cain killed Abel and that was really some kind of Pagan influenced part of the story.. and how the story was really originated by the Leavers.. huh. That book really did affect me, even though I pretty much forgot about it after a couple days.
Yes, it's easy to be affected by things you forget about after a couple of days...and that's some edgy stuff there for your teacher to say she doesn't understand Christianity?! It's like college or something!
I said "Bless You" to Edna today, and then i was just like, whoa! I can't believe I just said that!
Good, I'm glad you're warming up to Edna. She doesn't deserve your total abhorrence.
Oh yes, next order of business...
7 YEAR BITCH BROKE UP!!!! NOVEMBER OF LAST YEAR!
I can't believe it... and in my PJ letter, I had said "7 Year Bitch, one of my favorite bands" and they're gonna think I'm a retard because they haven't been together for 8 months! 9 months actually, dammmit...
High school self,
If Pearl Jam is going to think you are a "retard," which by the way I'm glad you take that word almost entirely out of your vocabulary years later, it would be for that postcard you wrote them that started "Dear Numbnads" in 1995. I mean, did you read that?! You should, I reposted it here for you to see. Also, I'm very surprised you didn't mention Fred. I'm sure you patted yourself on the back for that at the time, so maybe I shouldn't have mentioned it. I don't understand how you ever became a successful human being sometimes, although the definition of "successful human being" is always up for debate.
Love,
Future self.
Saturday, July 25, 2009
8/24/98 Monday
DAH! I can't do laundry, no quarters. Damn.
Today was the first day of sophomore year. As always, a very different experience. A rundown:
1st hour: Chemistry. (High school self, you listed a bunch of names here, and at the beginning of each class, some of whom you don't even remember, so for each hour, we will leave them out unless it's important), preppies. BLAGH Abraham. Dave sits behind me, one of these days we will have to get a convo going about the Verve Pipe or something. We're allowed to drink pop! But I got worried when he said that Biology was pretty straight forward and that this stuff would be MORE FUCKING DIFFICULT. Aaargh. I had an awful time in biology, it was hell...
Good news, that Abraham guy you are blarghing, thanks to the alphabet, will be sitting next to you in class, be your lab partner, and also the only reason you get a B in that class, which becomes very clear to you when you take CHM 109 in college and get a D. So quit blarghing Abraham. Yeah, he was a "preppy," but really, he's not that bad.
2nd Hour. Honors English. (People list), some new kids, and a shitload of preps. Jack, Kathryn, June (semi), TOO MANY PREPS!...I feel alienated. If she gives us a seating chart, THAT will be hell.
3rd Hour. F.S.T. (People list), some preppy juniors ( :( ), blah blah. The teacher rocks! I don't know.. indifference.
4th Hour. Spanish. Jackie.. semi-prep bitches, mostly, a couple of intriguing guys whose music tastes I would enjoy finding out/converting, I'm not sure about the teacher yet...
High school self -- okay, why do you hate "preppies" so much?! Don't worry, you will try so hard with your passion for Fred to suck up to all of them, that your journal entries will become far less laden with complaining about "preppy bitches" in all of your classes. And guys whose music tastes you would enjoy finding out?! What? Is that some kind of... classification? I don't understand you, high school self, and I used to BE you. Also, the teacher is so awesome, you're Facebook friends with her in 2009. So quit being so whiny.
5th Hour [Journalism]. Gotta get it switched.. hmm. I don't think I'm missing anything, no cute guys. Mr. Polish to Jason: "Are you the artist?" Heh heh.. I need to get it switched, dammit. I was planning on getting it switched to Psych.. Laura's class, and FRED's in it! Of course, Fred said he'd get it switched, but I don't know if he did it yet.
6th Hour . Journalism 2. Same old people, plus Jerome. Hmmm...
7th Hour Social Studies. Jackie, lots of lame people.. Looks like a really lame class. No clock! I won't be able to stand it!
Other musings: Adam's hair is black, and he was wearing a TOOL shirt. He almost fulfilled my prophecy: "You'll come back to school with bleached hair, a tattoo, piercings, and a NOFX shirt."
Um, yes, Tool, just like NOFX. Also, High school self, I already told you, he's a country boy now, so this whole point is moot.
I HATE EDNA. She was wearing a slutty shirt. Stupid bitch. I suppose I should fill up this page so she doesn't see me calling her a FUCKING BITCH! Aaargh... Oh, yes, I saw Malena's brother! Alternative, just like her. I should find.. lost train of thought.
1st - 1st Floor - Physics
2nd - 2nd Floor - English
3rd - 3rd Floor - Seminar
4th - 3rd Floor - FST
5th - Psych - 2nd Lunch
6th - 1st Floor - Science Room - Marketing (Business)
7th - 3rd Floor - French III
Dear high school self,
SPOILER ALERT! You end up flipping around your schedule by going to the counseling center and saying your current schedule makes you "depressed" just so that you can get into Pscyhology class with Fred. You are such a creep, by the way. Okay, I'll cut you a little slack, you were only supposed to be in Journalism 2 and never Journalism 1, so you DID need to transfer out of that class.. but then you switched into FST with Fred's class too. That schedule above? For a second rereading it, I thought that it was what you hoped to change your schedule into, but it was obviously Fred's schedule since you would never, ever, ever take Physics. Wait, I remember now, you switch into Psych very early on, but THEN later on in the SEMESTER you say you're depressed and switch around your entire schedule, so I take back what I said about cutting you some slack.
Also, you wrote some creepy ass phone numbers after this entry. I KNOW what those are... you weirdass. And are those social security numbers?! You know what, high school self? I'm not going to ask. I think I'm better off not knowing.
And quit being so hard on Edna. When your college roommate's best friend Mia from high school joins a sorority with her and they become best friends, and Mia asks Edna if she knows you, she says, "Oh, yeah, she was nice.. weird, but nice." I mean, come on. You WERE weird, and you deserved that, and she still mentioned that you were nice! And you'll even be friends on Facebook, and you'll run into her at the mall of the new hometown you both share, and it will only be sort of awkward when you say hi.
Love,
Future Self
Today was the first day of sophomore year. As always, a very different experience. A rundown:
1st hour: Chemistry. (High school self, you listed a bunch of names here, and at the beginning of each class, some of whom you don't even remember, so for each hour, we will leave them out unless it's important), preppies. BLAGH Abraham. Dave sits behind me, one of these days we will have to get a convo going about the Verve Pipe or something. We're allowed to drink pop! But I got worried when he said that Biology was pretty straight forward and that this stuff would be MORE FUCKING DIFFICULT. Aaargh. I had an awful time in biology, it was hell...
Good news, that Abraham guy you are blarghing, thanks to the alphabet, will be sitting next to you in class, be your lab partner, and also the only reason you get a B in that class, which becomes very clear to you when you take CHM 109 in college and get a D. So quit blarghing Abraham. Yeah, he was a "preppy," but really, he's not that bad.
2nd Hour. Honors English. (People list), some new kids, and a shitload of preps. Jack, Kathryn, June (semi), TOO MANY PREPS!...I feel alienated. If she gives us a seating chart, THAT will be hell.
3rd Hour. F.S.T. (People list), some preppy juniors ( :( ), blah blah. The teacher rocks! I don't know.. indifference.
4th Hour. Spanish. Jackie.. semi-prep bitches, mostly, a couple of intriguing guys whose music tastes I would enjoy finding out/converting, I'm not sure about the teacher yet...
High school self -- okay, why do you hate "preppies" so much?! Don't worry, you will try so hard with your passion for Fred to suck up to all of them, that your journal entries will become far less laden with complaining about "preppy bitches" in all of your classes. And guys whose music tastes you would enjoy finding out?! What? Is that some kind of... classification? I don't understand you, high school self, and I used to BE you. Also, the teacher is so awesome, you're Facebook friends with her in 2009. So quit being so whiny.
5th Hour [Journalism]. Gotta get it switched.. hmm. I don't think I'm missing anything, no cute guys. Mr. Polish to Jason: "Are you the artist?" Heh heh.. I need to get it switched, dammit. I was planning on getting it switched to Psych.. Laura's class, and FRED's in it! Of course, Fred said he'd get it switched, but I don't know if he did it yet.
6th Hour . Journalism 2. Same old people, plus Jerome. Hmmm...
7th Hour Social Studies. Jackie, lots of lame people.. Looks like a really lame class. No clock! I won't be able to stand it!
Other musings: Adam's hair is black, and he was wearing a TOOL shirt. He almost fulfilled my prophecy: "You'll come back to school with bleached hair, a tattoo, piercings, and a NOFX shirt."
Um, yes, Tool, just like NOFX. Also, High school self, I already told you, he's a country boy now, so this whole point is moot.
I HATE EDNA. She was wearing a slutty shirt. Stupid bitch. I suppose I should fill up this page so she doesn't see me calling her a FUCKING BITCH! Aaargh... Oh, yes, I saw Malena's brother! Alternative, just like her. I should find.. lost train of thought.
1st - 1st Floor - Physics
2nd - 2nd Floor - English
3rd - 3rd Floor - Seminar
4th - 3rd Floor - FST
5th - Psych - 2nd Lunch
6th - 1st Floor - Science Room - Marketing (Business)
7th - 3rd Floor - French III
Dear high school self,
SPOILER ALERT! You end up flipping around your schedule by going to the counseling center and saying your current schedule makes you "depressed" just so that you can get into Pscyhology class with Fred. You are such a creep, by the way. Okay, I'll cut you a little slack, you were only supposed to be in Journalism 2 and never Journalism 1, so you DID need to transfer out of that class.. but then you switched into FST with Fred's class too. That schedule above? For a second rereading it, I thought that it was what you hoped to change your schedule into, but it was obviously Fred's schedule since you would never, ever, ever take Physics. Wait, I remember now, you switch into Psych very early on, but THEN later on in the SEMESTER you say you're depressed and switch around your entire schedule, so I take back what I said about cutting you some slack.
Also, you wrote some creepy ass phone numbers after this entry. I KNOW what those are... you weirdass. And are those social security numbers?! You know what, high school self? I'm not going to ask. I think I'm better off not knowing.
And quit being so hard on Edna. When your college roommate's best friend Mia from high school joins a sorority with her and they become best friends, and Mia asks Edna if she knows you, she says, "Oh, yeah, she was nice.. weird, but nice." I mean, come on. You WERE weird, and you deserved that, and she still mentioned that you were nice! And you'll even be friends on Facebook, and you'll run into her at the mall of the new hometown you both share, and it will only be sort of awkward when you say hi.
Love,
Future Self
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
This is cheating a bit but I need a break from this high school lameness
9/4/91
Boy, do we seem to have a lot of work in 3rd grade.
9/17/91
Yesterday when the light went the lights went out and then the clock stops
10/9/91
Today we have gym. Yuck! It was cross country. Cross Country Makes My legs hurt.
10/17/91
The best thing about Mrs. Trindle is she is nice. She talks about hanging us by our toenails, but she never did, yet. We made spooky shadows.
10/31/91
It's finally here! Yeah! It's halloween. I know I keep saying I'm going to be a princess, or cowgirl, or frankenstein, but I'm really a cheerleader. I have tons of makeup. My mom doesn't use anything of the makeup except (that's a spelling word this week) for the eye shadow. I'm wearing knee socks with it and a skirt with 2 pom poms.
11/4/91
When the snow started freezing I almost froze. It was ccccold. COLD?! It was freezing!! Brrrrr! I didn't have any boots either. Snow in early November. Man! I hope it's not as cold tomorrow. Well, it will probably be colder tomorrow.
1/14/92
What would you do if you were invisible?
I would go to school. I'd carry my book bag on the bus. "AAAhh!" the bus driver would shout. When get off the bus I'd scare the teacher. A simple "BOO!" would probably do it. "AAAAH!" from the teacher. She'd run out of the room. She'd tell the principal and he would say 'really?' The teacher would take him to the room and I'd be sitting at my desk.
1/16/92
Would you want a possession or an experience?
I would want a great new possesion. It would be more fun than an experience to cherish. When would the experience happen? Once I was on a rollercoaster and my glasses almost fell off. It was scary. Chris says it's boring.
2/12/92
Games and food. They make a good party. NO food, NO party. NO games, a party gets boring. They have to be good, I mean VERY good food and games.
2/20/92
Well, I haven't done anything really brave. Maybe when I jumped off a cliff. Just KIDDING. Ha! You believe me? Didn't think so.
3/12/92
I would choose most attractive. I'm already smart.
Boy, do we seem to have a lot of work in 3rd grade.
9/17/91
Yesterday when the light went the lights went out and then the clock stops
10/9/91
Today we have gym. Yuck! It was cross country. Cross Country Makes My legs hurt.
10/17/91
The best thing about Mrs. Trindle is she is nice. She talks about hanging us by our toenails, but she never did, yet. We made spooky shadows.
10/31/91
It's finally here! Yeah! It's halloween. I know I keep saying I'm going to be a princess, or cowgirl, or frankenstein, but I'm really a cheerleader. I have tons of makeup. My mom doesn't use anything of the makeup except (that's a spelling word this week) for the eye shadow. I'm wearing knee socks with it and a skirt with 2 pom poms.
11/4/91
When the snow started freezing I almost froze. It was ccccold. COLD?! It was freezing!! Brrrrr! I didn't have any boots either. Snow in early November. Man! I hope it's not as cold tomorrow. Well, it will probably be colder tomorrow.
1/14/92
What would you do if you were invisible?
I would go to school. I'd carry my book bag on the bus. "AAAhh!" the bus driver would shout. When get off the bus I'd scare the teacher. A simple "BOO!" would probably do it. "AAAAH!" from the teacher. She'd run out of the room. She'd tell the principal and he would say 'really?' The teacher would take him to the room and I'd be sitting at my desk.
1/16/92
Would you want a possession or an experience?
I would want a great new possesion. It would be more fun than an experience to cherish. When would the experience happen? Once I was on a rollercoaster and my glasses almost fell off. It was scary. Chris says it's boring.
2/12/92
Games and food. They make a good party. NO food, NO party. NO games, a party gets boring. They have to be good, I mean VERY good food and games.
2/20/92
Well, I haven't done anything really brave. Maybe when I jumped off a cliff. Just KIDDING. Ha! You believe me? Didn't think so.
3/12/92
I would choose most attractive. I'm already smart.
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
12/13/98 Sunday
9:03 p.m. Well, seeing as I completely SKIPPED writing in here yesterday, I suppose I should make up for it, shouldn't I? I just haven't been as motivated to write in my journal lately. Even in the event of journal worthy events...
To put it simply, my boring life SUCKS. Or maybe I'm writing less because I don't blow things out of proportion. But it doesn't really SEEM like I'm blowing this out of proportion any less... and what's with my spelling going straight to hell? (Editor's note: I had crossed out a bunch of things on this line) I forgot how to spell terrific the other day! I think it's these e's that make everything look mis-spelled.
Hey high school self dude, as a little reminder, you started writing your Es without closing the loop at the top of the letter, so it was kind of like a little uppercase E. You remember exactly why you did this. It was the same reason you started writing your 2s without loops in middle school -- you know, when you tried to make them look more like Brian Vander Ark's? You still don't put loops in your 2s. The good news, however, is that you no longer write your Es like Fred did. Yes, that's right. You managed to get a small writing sample from Fred in your pathetic little "Letters" notebook, where he wrote you the following:
"It's been fun in biology this year. Have a great time at Pearl Jam's concert. I wish I could go. Thanks for the tape of their b-songs."
You later added "referring to b-sides as b-songs" to your list of "Every dumb thing Fred has ever said." Did that make you like him less? No, because he was such a good person! Anyways, what were you saying, high school self?
Well, at around 1:30 today, I finished the damn Christmas cards. I wasn't really sick of making them, but towards the end ones I was running out of ideas & running out of stuff to use, as well. I mean, once I got done writing all the "notes"-- now THOSE were pain in the ass! I always know WHAT to say but HOW to say it is a totally different thing. It was sort of a relief; a lifted weight.
Do you remember that, high school self? You hand made 70 Christmas cards for all your "closest friends" -- this was just so it wouldn't look weird when you gave Fred his. You vowed you wouldn't do it again in 1999, but oh high school self, you made 120. What the hell was WRONG with you?!?!
Fred's was the last one. I didn't want to put something plain and simple like "Merry Christmas," I wanted to display my sense of humor, yet at the same time I didn't want to put anything too weird. I ended up with something fairly stupid like "What's on your 'Wishlist,'" hardy har har. My main fear concerning the card is that Fred will reject it, which I can TOTALLY see him doing. Personally if anyone GAVE me something, no matter how much I didn't want it, I'd keep it to be polite, and also because of the guilt I'd feel I guess. But like it kind of shocked me when he didn't accept the zine, or even when he didn't want Mary's senior picture, it surprised me -- it just seems a little out of the ordinary to outright REJECT things like that. I mean, I'd probably accept something from the world's biggest, smelliest loser if they were giving it to me. Is it just being polite or is it just being me? Who knows. So would that make HIM rude?
Last night I kinda had a weird dream.. like I met Starr or something.. and then I was at a coffee shop and I was scared or something because I wasn't with any friends and it was dark out and Adam was high or something.. it was my alternativeness haunting me.
What?! High school self, what are you talking about?! Oh yeah, you were being haunted by your Mustard Plug and Nine Inch Nails shirts. I get it now. This is so pathetic, high school self, because I know that this is exactly what it means.
A lot of my "sexual" fantasies currently involve Adam, especially since Mandy kissed him..at least they were both stoned or something. But he's just the center of these because lately he seems almost HAPPY to see me sometimes and he's not even stoned or doesn't want money.. well, he might be stoned, I don't know what to be looking for.. I saw him take those acid tabs right in front of me...
Good news, you find Adam on Myspace many years later and he's a total country boy, and you are done lusting over him. You know, a camo and guns type. That's right. Maybe he still gets stoned, who knows.
Maybe Fred's just devoid of emotion, or reject things because of his dad.. but the thing was is that his dad was sick for a while and he must've seen it coming, I guess.. but on the other hand, how could you ever "see" something like that "coming"?
High school self, did you notice you just rationalized Fred not accepting your zine by blaming it on his dad's sickness? You are such an IDIOT!
Maybe he's NOT devoid of emotion and it's just at school, or -- this certainly explains everything -- he's just always TIRED! I was talking to Teri about how I've invented his personality. Taking bits here and there and un-conciously making things up to fill in the gaps. Like I think, "How would he react to THIS," etc. etc. and the truth is I REALLY DONT KNOW! I can guess as much as I want but I REALLY DONT KNOW!!
Now you're cooking with gas!
I was thinking how disturbed he'd be if he read these little analyzations of him & stuff. Personally if someone analyzed about ME like this, and wrote about it everyday, I'd actually WANT to read it. I think it would be fascinating to discover how I am percieved and observed by the opposite sex.. to see how someone else might invent MY personality. I don't really KNOW if I'd find it disturbing or not; I guess I'd just be amazed that anyone could be that obsessed with a loser like ME..
Bad news, no one gets obsessed with you. Ever. This is a fact. A few people get crushes, but that's about it. You never get that satisfying moment where you say, "So and so is SO obsessed with me!" No. Oh wait--you do say it once, about your roommate's cat, when he meows at your door all the time after you introduce him to cat nip, which will make you a bigger loser than I thought. Also, you're way too obnoxiously open for anyone to ever have anything to analyze about you.
I think part of the reason I can't see Fred going for Sandy is that she always seemed kinda flaky to me, like a real surface type person I guess, lacking a certain depth. Sure, she was really nice and everything, just.. something wasn't there...
Dear high school self,
Don't worry, Sandy married some other guy, and she really wasn't more likely to get together with Fred anyways, seeing as she showed an ounce of interest in him. You still don't know what happened to Fred, since he's not on Facebook. I'm sure you'll find out eventually, you're creepy like that.
Love,
Future self
To put it simply, my boring life SUCKS. Or maybe I'm writing less because I don't blow things out of proportion. But it doesn't really SEEM like I'm blowing this out of proportion any less... and what's with my spelling going straight to hell? (Editor's note: I had crossed out a bunch of things on this line) I forgot how to spell terrific the other day! I think it's these e's that make everything look mis-spelled.
Hey high school self dude, as a little reminder, you started writing your Es without closing the loop at the top of the letter, so it was kind of like a little uppercase E. You remember exactly why you did this. It was the same reason you started writing your 2s without loops in middle school -- you know, when you tried to make them look more like Brian Vander Ark's? You still don't put loops in your 2s. The good news, however, is that you no longer write your Es like Fred did. Yes, that's right. You managed to get a small writing sample from Fred in your pathetic little "Letters" notebook, where he wrote you the following:
"It's been fun in biology this year. Have a great time at Pearl Jam's concert. I wish I could go. Thanks for the tape of their b-songs."
You later added "referring to b-sides as b-songs" to your list of "Every dumb thing Fred has ever said." Did that make you like him less? No, because he was such a good person! Anyways, what were you saying, high school self?
Well, at around 1:30 today, I finished the damn Christmas cards. I wasn't really sick of making them, but towards the end ones I was running out of ideas & running out of stuff to use, as well. I mean, once I got done writing all the "notes"-- now THOSE were pain in the ass! I always know WHAT to say but HOW to say it is a totally different thing. It was sort of a relief; a lifted weight.
Do you remember that, high school self? You hand made 70 Christmas cards for all your "closest friends" -- this was just so it wouldn't look weird when you gave Fred his. You vowed you wouldn't do it again in 1999, but oh high school self, you made 120. What the hell was WRONG with you?!?!
Fred's was the last one. I didn't want to put something plain and simple like "Merry Christmas," I wanted to display my sense of humor, yet at the same time I didn't want to put anything too weird. I ended up with something fairly stupid like "What's on your 'Wishlist,'" hardy har har. My main fear concerning the card is that Fred will reject it, which I can TOTALLY see him doing. Personally if anyone GAVE me something, no matter how much I didn't want it, I'd keep it to be polite, and also because of the guilt I'd feel I guess. But like it kind of shocked me when he didn't accept the zine, or even when he didn't want Mary's senior picture, it surprised me -- it just seems a little out of the ordinary to outright REJECT things like that. I mean, I'd probably accept something from the world's biggest, smelliest loser if they were giving it to me. Is it just being polite or is it just being me? Who knows. So would that make HIM rude?
Last night I kinda had a weird dream.. like I met Starr or something.. and then I was at a coffee shop and I was scared or something because I wasn't with any friends and it was dark out and Adam was high or something.. it was my alternativeness haunting me.
What?! High school self, what are you talking about?! Oh yeah, you were being haunted by your Mustard Plug and Nine Inch Nails shirts. I get it now. This is so pathetic, high school self, because I know that this is exactly what it means.
A lot of my "sexual" fantasies currently involve Adam, especially since Mandy kissed him..at least they were both stoned or something. But he's just the center of these because lately he seems almost HAPPY to see me sometimes and he's not even stoned or doesn't want money.. well, he might be stoned, I don't know what to be looking for.. I saw him take those acid tabs right in front of me...
Good news, you find Adam on Myspace many years later and he's a total country boy, and you are done lusting over him. You know, a camo and guns type. That's right. Maybe he still gets stoned, who knows.
Maybe Fred's just devoid of emotion, or reject things because of his dad.. but the thing was is that his dad was sick for a while and he must've seen it coming, I guess.. but on the other hand, how could you ever "see" something like that "coming"?
High school self, did you notice you just rationalized Fred not accepting your zine by blaming it on his dad's sickness? You are such an IDIOT!
Maybe he's NOT devoid of emotion and it's just at school, or -- this certainly explains everything -- he's just always TIRED! I was talking to Teri about how I've invented his personality. Taking bits here and there and un-conciously making things up to fill in the gaps. Like I think, "How would he react to THIS," etc. etc. and the truth is I REALLY DONT KNOW! I can guess as much as I want but I REALLY DONT KNOW!!
Now you're cooking with gas!
I was thinking how disturbed he'd be if he read these little analyzations of him & stuff. Personally if someone analyzed about ME like this, and wrote about it everyday, I'd actually WANT to read it. I think it would be fascinating to discover how I am percieved and observed by the opposite sex.. to see how someone else might invent MY personality. I don't really KNOW if I'd find it disturbing or not; I guess I'd just be amazed that anyone could be that obsessed with a loser like ME..
Bad news, no one gets obsessed with you. Ever. This is a fact. A few people get crushes, but that's about it. You never get that satisfying moment where you say, "So and so is SO obsessed with me!" No. Oh wait--you do say it once, about your roommate's cat, when he meows at your door all the time after you introduce him to cat nip, which will make you a bigger loser than I thought. Also, you're way too obnoxiously open for anyone to ever have anything to analyze about you.
I think part of the reason I can't see Fred going for Sandy is that she always seemed kinda flaky to me, like a real surface type person I guess, lacking a certain depth. Sure, she was really nice and everything, just.. something wasn't there...
Dear high school self,
Don't worry, Sandy married some other guy, and she really wasn't more likely to get together with Fred anyways, seeing as she showed an ounce of interest in him. You still don't know what happened to Fred, since he's not on Facebook. I'm sure you'll find out eventually, you're creepy like that.
Love,
Future self
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