1/24/01 Wednesday

**My senior year, Fred had already graduated and left me no choice but to find other boys to pine over and hurt my hand scrawling about them into the wee hours of the night.. **

about 4:30 p.m. Well, today (as per usual) typified unexcitement. Um, let's see. I got ANOTHER email from Caesar, ha ha.. basically he says he'll DEFINITELY go to my party this year**, and he probably can't go Friday b/c of some ridiculous Math Center bowling whatever crapathon for Paws with a Cause.. sigh. Only he spelled it "Caws." Ha! He's not THAT brilliant! But this really foils my plan to ask him to the dance--ha!

Everything's just so funny to you, isn't it, high school self? I'm just glad LOL was invented yet at the time. Or at least, that you weren't familiar enough with the term to embarrass yourself with it.

Reminds me of Winterfest last year, Gabe not being there, but THEN being at my b-day party AND REJECTING ME! So hopefully, history won't repeat itself...

The rest of the day was whatever... 2nd hour Buzz caught me staring at him like twice, ha ha.. 5th hour Anna dropped by which was nice to see her.. photography was the usual.. after that, Patrina and I came back to school for Karaoke. I thought it was just fantastic when just about a quarter after two, Jasper came out of nowhere -- well, the student section -- after I'd been trying to figure out where he was FOREVER and then stands like 3 feet away from me by the door FOR NO REASON. I thought it was weird, like maybe he'd leave or something, but he didn't.

People standing, that is so weird, high school self. Also, in this part of the entry I talk about ten different people's karaoke songs, but I have no desire to make up fake names for all these people, and it's really not that interesting anyways.. I mean, high school self, you only even wrote one sentence about each song! Surely it wasn't THAT interesting! You even left out the whole controversy of the kid who said "dammit" in front of the whole school and got in trouble with the more conservative teachers at school!

Yeah, it really served no purpose for Jasper to stand by me!

You're STILL on this, Jasper standing thing? Ugh. Come on, high school self.

Except for the fact that he's IN LOVE with me!!

Um. Yeah. That's it. The scary part, high school self is that I can't tell if you're kidding or not, even knowing you as well as I do, although I will say that he was at least nicer to you than Fred ever was. Not that that says much.

Ha! Well, tonight's the hockey game and I REALLY hope I see one of the guys who'll show up shirtless! WHOO-HOO!!

9:36 pm Well, tonight was pretty cool.. we got to the hockey game and I just kept watching the door for shirtless boys, he heh. I got a little mad seeing people like Tom come in w/ their shirts on, but then I saw Mack and Jasper come in. Jasper had this small white shirt on with paint under the sleeves and I was like, YES! Then I saw a girl from my photography class, and then ANDRES sat in FRONT of her!!

(Andres had graduated in the mythical "class of 2000," where I thought that everyone was a God.)

And I said, "This will be the best night of the year!" Well, I wasn't QUITE right, but hey, it was still fun.

I guess my main hormone attack was when Jasper took his vest off. I was like, Oh! Oh! the shirt's comin' next! and it reminded me of last year and Fred's soccer games, ha ha.. but anyway, I got annoyed, because I could tell he was taking off his shirt BUT someone was blocking my view. And THEN he put his vest back on! Aagh! But then we got a goal and some dumbass threw a dildo on the ice and anyone who might've become shirtless got kicked out. Of course I started at Jasper and he DOES have nice buff arms... aah. That guy is so great!

After that it was pretty much lamedom. I guess Damien through ANOTHER dildo on the ice and it was funny because Andres' roommate said "I did it!" and got kicked out, ha ha. Everyone gave him a standing ovation, it was great.

That was pretty much it as far as excitement goes; we won 5-2 and on the way home Ludacris was playing in the car and it was a fun night!

Dear high school self,
You never figured out if it was normal for people to throw dildoes on the ice. Oh, and to make chants and cheers about them. This will befuddle you for years to come. Sure it was funny, but oh high school self, it will look so dumb to you later on.

And you ended up seeing Jasper with his shirt off. He's a runner, not a football player, so it was nothing spectacular.

Love,
Future self.

** Your birthday isn't until MARCH!! What's WRONG with you??